The Royal Foot Guards – the premier regiment of France, despite what some others might think – is on the lookout for a few good men. Duties include:
Looking down on the King’s Musketeers and Cardinal’s Guard.
Laughing at the QOC as they try to find the front end of their horses.
Waving goodbye to those going to the front while we stay nice and warm in Paris with their women and lots of wine.
Ridiculing the Gascons because of their silly accent.
Some military duties which are to be defined at a future point.
Do not hesitate, join the best, make fun of the rest, the Royal Foot Guards is for you.
All applicants are to contact Colonel Averell d’Alton RFG.

I call on the Horse Guards Brigade to volunteer for winter exercises. † AV

Call away.  † Le Roi

To those newly arrived in Paris:
The Cardinal’s Guard is the leading regiment in the kingdom of France. Who else has God’s own hand to protect their backs on the battlefield and to soften the occasional jump from a fair damsel’s balcony? Sign in this month! His Eminence will grant you his blessings.

To All Loyal Men of Paris,
Come and join the country’s premier regiment, the King’s Musketeers, and ensure that France’s enemies are hunted down and dispatched. Places are still available, but please apply early to avoid any disappointment.
Generous bonuses available and help with purchasing your commission.
† B.Bdr-General The Money Goes, King’s Musketeers

Mutual seconds arrangement sought by Honourable Officer of the RFG.
† RdS

Gentleman of position seeking reliable second.
Address reply letter to the Cardinal Guard barracks.
† Colonel Jean Laissez Faire

Hang on, didn’t duelling used to be illegal? Shouldn’t the Minister of Justice be collecting the fines for the crime or the Cardinal for the sin?
† Anonymous

Does this mean we can have a duel after all?  † RdS

To all Gentlemen of Paris of SL7 or less
I invite you all to join me in Blue Gables in Weeks 2 and 3 January 1661 to discuss the outrageous behaviour of footpads and vagabonds upon the streets of Paris in assaulting gentlemen in weakened states after bouts of vigorous action in the Bawdyhouses. I, myself, was subject to being waylaid by a gang of these ruffians, but managed to fend them off. I wish us to vote on two options: 1) we travel en-masse to the bawdyhouse with a gentleman per night taking the role of the ‘designated driver’ – he would not drink or partake in other pleasures and would be fighting fit to fend off these sewer-rats or 2) we hire a suitable carriage and travel by this ‘Bawdybus’ for a small fee. All drinks are on me but, due to the possible ribald and graphic nature of the conversation, Mistresses are not allowed. As this invitation is for Gentleman only, members of the Cardinal’s Guard are obviously ineligible to attend and will be turned away by the Doormen. They would serve us all better if they took to the streets to spread the ‘Thou shalt not Steal’ message that Mother Church teaches us all.
† Gregory Lessore de Saviour

Field Marshal Sean Sondamour invites all gentlemen SL15+ who are so inclined to join him at the Fleur for drinks to welcome in the New Year. All month. Female company welcome.

Once again it is time for the annual New Year’s Ball, a fundraising event to support the Paris Orphanage. All Gentlemen of honour and their ladies are free to attend at their own cost. All attending are expected to donate to the orphanage’s funds, but should only give what they can afford. Please come and give generously!
Week1 – The Fleur de Lys.
    Yours Most Affectionately,
† Euriah (Ever so) Humble

To celebrate my arrival in Paris and my new commission in the Dragoon Guards, I invite members of Parisian society above Social Level one to join me for a drink at Horse Guards next month in weeks one and two.
Please do remember to message me at my personal address if you would like to attend.
† Swender de Jewel

Let me give you that address again: c/o the Dragoon Guards, somewhere in Alsace. † Le Roi

To the members of the Royal Marines and anyone else (except the 69th) SL 5 or above:
I will be in my club week 4 next month please join me for a few drinks.
    Yours in honour,
† Brevet Brigadier Gustav Ind, Royal Marines

TO Roget de Saurus and all those mumbling about the duelling tax.
READ MY LIPS ... NO TAXATION WITHOUT CONSULTATION .... NO CLICHÉ LEFT UNTURNED (…er is this all right, scribe...?). As new Chancellor I invited everyone from ALL social levels to drinks at my own household expense to discuss this tax which was introduced by my most noble predecessor. I heard NOTHING from most and my invitations were flung aside as you might a sour bottle of wine.
NOW you insist on complaining, but you only have yourselves to blame. As I did not get a strong reaction against it in the consultation period, I felt it was not in my gift to abolish such a newly-introduced tax. I did however greatly reduce its impact to cover only KILLING a fellow Son of France or multiple regimental GANGING UP on an individual – and made the payment system fairer.
Of course, if you like to Duel to Kill and Bully, be my guest – but pay the Tax. If you fight to only wound or on an individual basis, you do not have to pay Tax. Don’t you think that's fair?
† Chancellor Orson de Combat

To Chancellor Orson de Combat
You assume that I have an income, but you assume wrong. I paid extra money up front because I knew the other duellist would die – after all, I am Armand dan Gerous – and I gave him fair warning. The money I used to pay the duelling tax was money that my father gave to me to support myself in Paris until I found a job. Now that I have had to pay the duelling tax what am I supposed to use to support myself?
† Armand dan Gerous

How about a career in the military, my boy? That will toughen you up. † Le Roi

Duelling taxes: There’s never enough money coming in so the Chancellor imposes more stealth taxes rather than an impost on the peasants, where the money should be coming from.

To those brave gentlemen who testified on my behalf at my show-trial, honour and greetings.
To those who turned up at my proposed celebration of Egon Madd’s life, apologies and thank you, you now understand how the malice of little men can thwart and hinder even the most innocent and loyal.
To both, should I survive my enforced sojourn at the front, I will invite you to dine with me at my expense, your mistresses too. Rest assured, your service and kind remembrance was noted and will not be forgotten.
† GENERAL REVAULVIN D’OR. NOT DEAD, JUST FIGHTING

General d’Or
You have proved beyond all doubt now that you are a complete fantasist. Your defence to the charge of tax evasion was based largely on a whingeing complaint that I had not turned up to our duel. In response, let me refer you to the Parisian Gazette for June 1660, which shows that I did indeed turn up to our duel and that I paid the duelling tax whilst you did not. Now accept your punishment like a gentleman and redeem yourself at the Front. I would hate to see you come before the Court a third time as the quality of mercy in your case is fast running out.
† Count Gaston de St Marque, Minister of State

Lord Percy Percy says, as fashion is tending towards the long sleeves, Jean Laissez Faire is getting pretty fashionable.

To: Gregory Lessore de Saviour
Thank you for your inquiry. Unfortunately you have been unsuccessful on this occasion, but I will keep your letter on file against future need.
    Yours in honour,
† B.Brigadier-General Ind

It seems my secretary had difficulty in understanding my dictation and caused some confusion with some of my correspondence last month. My letter to Jacques, about leaving the King’s Musketeers, was meant to have been addressed to my Lt. Col, Walter Butts, and not Benedict d’Over, our regimental adjutant. Apologies for any confusion. I have sacked the fool and will have a more rigorous interview for the position next time.
† B.Bdr-General The Money Goes, King’s Musketeers

Dear The Money Goes,
I intend to remain within the King’s Musketeers for as long as the regiment will have me. I am seeking an appointment as Brigade Major to increase my knowledge of military tactics and thereby increase my worth to the regiment.
    Yours,
† Major d’Over

        Picardy Musketeers
Average IQ: 78
Lucky Colour: Scarlet
Lucky Stone: One with a hole
Quip: You’re never alone with your horse.

From the Diary of Egon Mad
They expect me to fight a Duel! This body isn’t even run-in yet and I’m not getting it damaged. I dread to think what my insurance premium would be like if I did.

To Parisian Headhunters Inc
I wish for you to pass my details onto Sir Pierre de Mont Rail in consideration of the vacancy to be his Aide. I am a gentleman of good social standing, new to Paris and with very limited military experience, but plenty of style, eagerness, good handwriting, good at sums and a ‘hard-work’ ethic. I have just started my career in the King’s Musketeers under the command of Count The Money Goes and am looking to improve myself.
Your client is obviously of high social standing and shows himself to be a character of great humility and charity as was so obvious in his recent thrilling duel, where the word in the barracks is that he would rather surrender a match he would surely have won in order to allow his opponent to save face.
I look forward to your reply.
    Regards,
† Subaltern Gregory Lessore-de-Saviour, King’s Musketeers

Beau de Cire doesn’t know how to use a Cutlass? That puts him in with 48% of his Regiment, who despite more and better training are turning out to require on the job basic lessons in carving enemies up. Why oh why do we put up with this?

Dear Chancellor did everyone pay their tax in last month’s auction?
† Voice of the People

What, some sort of Value Auctioned Tax? † Le Roi

Cher Orson de Combat,
Can you clarify the new rules on duelling, with particular attention to the bit “weakening a defender of la France”? I upheld my honour against a lout who has several times the Endurance of my somewhat frail frame and who bullied me to within 10% of my life. The only one “weakened” was myself! While I am a loyal subject and seek to serve his majesty, I cannot cope with too much of this bullying, and then being asked to pay for the privilege is a bit much.
† Aloysius Gnomeclencher

To de Marque and de Cart:
Your sudden easing of the Duelling Tax’s provisions now that your aim of judicial murder has been put in motion shows it for what it is: a device to punish and rid yourselves of those you consider your rivals. I have accused you of malice. Now I know it was not malice but fear of one you think dead. Wrong about the death, right about the fear.
† GENERAL REVAULVIN D’OR. NOT DEAD, JUST FIGHTING

It must be hard to be Humble, when you’re perfect in every way,
He even looks good in plus-fours: his SL gets higher each day,
Gentleman, General and generous, he sure is one heck of a man,
It must be hard to be Humble, but he’s doing the best that he can.
† ME