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Les Petites Bêtes Soyeuses
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Les Petites Bêtes Soyeuses
Being a postal game of En Garde! run by Pevans since April 1986 and now published as part of To Win Just Once.
If you'd like to play, you'll need to subscribe to TWJO (follow the link for details). You will need a copy of the rules to En Garde! - or at least access to a copy. The additional rules for LPBS are available as a PDF document. (You will need Adobe Reader to view this: it is available free from Adobe.)
Orders for June and July 1661 to LPBS, 180 Aylsham Drive, UXBRIDGE UB10 8UF or the LPBS orders e-mail address by Friday, 25th April 2008
Game Report for May 1661
Sections: Duels, Trials, Appointments and Regiments, What happened in Paris, What happened at the front.
The squabble between the Dragoon Guards and Queen's Own Cuirassiers continues this month as DG Major Swender de Jewel meets QOC Lieutenant-Colonel Aloysius Gnomeclencher again. Dee Arth Maul seconds de Jewel as the two protagonists cross sabres. Both men are lightweights, but de Jewel is the lighter of the two and correspondingly at a disadvantage. Gnomeclencher starts with a parry and a block. De Jewel's lunge goes straight through the block, scoring first blood. This is not enough to stop Gnomeclencher, who attacks with a slash. His swing coincides with de Jewel's own slash, both of which cause further wounds. This is enough for de Jewel, who surrenders and is helped from the scene by Arth Maul.
The fight between Giles Etraseur and Jean-Pierre le Crow is over even more quickly. His old, unhealed injuries make le Crow far weaker than Etraseur. He is also less skilled with the rapier both men are using. However, le Crow is first to strike, starting a furious lunge that goes straight into Etraseur. He comes back with a lunge of his own. From his position on the ground, le Crow concedes the duel.
Paris votes for Michel Entire's challenge to Johnny Sais-Pas and the two men meet to settle matters with their rapiers. It's an even fight, though Entire has less expertise than Sais-Pas. He does have a second, though - Jacques de la Boite is on hand to back him up. Sais-Pas tries to fox his opponent with a furious slash. Entire parries, in case there's an initial lunge, and then goes for the more conventional furious lunge. Entire's lunge meets Sais-Pas's slash and is partially deflected. Both blows do some damage, though. The two men swing round and cut. Sais-Pas strikes first, but doesn't stop Entire. At least not immediately. However, having considered the damage, Entire surrenders before Sais-Pas can hit him again.
New ranks
Sais-Pas's next move is to use what influence he has to remove the Brigade Major of Second Foot. He has not applied for the job, though, and it remains vacant - though it will surely be filled next month for the summer campaign. Herve d'Conde buys his way to the Colonelcy of the Dragoon Guards, allowing Swender de Jewel to take over as Lieutenant-Colonel. Dominique L'Etoile purchases the rank of Major in the Picardy Musketeers. Devlin Carnate accepts Quasi Le Bossu into the Princess Louisa Light Dragoons. He is able to afford the rank of Major and the horses to go with it. New arrival Roland Toussaint applies to the Gascons, is accepted and buys a Subaltern's commission.
Charlemagne le Gosse turns down Alain Hermès's application to be Quartermaster-General of Second Army. General le Gosse keeps his headquarters vacant despite the imminent campaign. Other soldiers decide to get some practice. Colonel Averell d'Alton volunteers the Royal Foot Guards - much to the dismay of RFG Captain Beau Romir, who was planning a series of parties this month. The new Colonel d'Conde mobilises the Dragoon Guards, taking his men to join their regimental enemies in action. Colonel Senquiry gives the Crown Prince Cuirassiers their marching orders. Lt-Col. Michel Entire adds his battalion of the Picardy Musketeers.
What, no Tiddlywinks?
The departure of the Royal Foot Guards from Paris - and Beau Romir in particular - puts a large hole in this month's social calendar. Euria Humble, Horatio d'Escargot and Gustav Ind spend three weeks outside the Fleur, waiting fruitlessly for Beau to show up. The Minister of State, Gaston de St Marque, joins them for two weeks, as does Jacques Shitacks. Gustav makes it into the Fleur at the end of the month under his own steam, giving Jacky Tinne a week out. This gives him the chance to spend some of the cash he borrowed from the Shylocks this month - though much of it has been donated to Charlemagne le Gosse. Jacques gets some female company at the Bawdyhouses in his first week and then gets more when he is successful courting at the end of the month. Gaston just spends two weeks with his rapier. And Euria is busy helping paint the Paris Orphanage. Sean Sondamour and Ella Fant are in the Fleur for their third week. Sean spends the missing week practising his sabre. The final visitors to the Fleur are Angelina di Griz and Devlin Carnate, who's relaxing after three weeks hard work with his sabre. Lois de Lowe and Charlemagne de Gosse are there at the start of the month, before Charlemagne moves to the gym for three weeks with his rapier.
There is one social event this month. Johnny Sais-Pas spends May with Marie Antoinette at the Frog & Peach. Come week 2 and they have guests for Marie's flower arranging class. Di Lemmere brings her new conquest, Quasi Le Bossu. Jenny Russe accompanies Renauld Culvert d'Eau. And Emma Roides has Zeus Aspillais with her. Emma's fine arrangement of spring flowers wins her the prize offered by Johnny. Renauld has already had one week's practice with his rapier and concludes May with a second after visiting his own club, Blue Gables. Zeus sticks with three weeks sabre practice. Quasi and Di stay in the Frog & Peach for the rest of the month and are joined by Ilk Lamore Bartat and Di Lemmere. Ilk has already spent a week with Di and a week drinking in the Bawdyhouses. Dee Arth Maul arrives at the Frog & Peach with May Banquot l'Idée on his arm after two weeks courting. Only one was with May, but she doesn't know this... They are in the club for two weeks.
Other clubs
After his disappointment at the Fleur, Horatio picks up Henrietta Carrotte and takes her to Bothwell's for a week, spending money donated by Lun a'Tic. Gar de Lieu brings Katy Did to Bothwell's to start May and then practises rapier for the rest of the month. Benedict d'Over follows two weeks' practice with two weeks in Bothwell's with Ophelia Derriere.
The visitors to Hunter's all come at the beginning of the month. Aloysius Gnomeclencher spends a week there with Deb Estaround, then three in the gym with his sabre. Ava Crisp accompanies Alain Hermès to the club for a week. He then prefers the company of his rapier. The final visitors are Pierre de Vin Rouge and Mary Huana. This relationship doesn't last much longer as Pierre goes courting Leia Orgasma. Her very public rejection of Pierre's advances loses him Mary's affections and earns him a duel with her lover, Stewart Senquiry. After which, it's two weeks with his rapier for Pierre.
After visiting his mistress, Jacques de la Boite visits the Blue Gables. He repays his debts, thanks to a further loan from Michel Entire. Then he visits the gym for two weeks' practice with a rapier. New arrival Roland Toussaint signs up with Red Phillips and immediately hits the gaming tables: eight losses and one win. So he heads for the Bawdyhouses and some female company. He places another nine bets: seven losses and two wins. It's only five crowns a time, but it leaves him with a declining social standing - and loses him his membership of Red Phillips. A week's unsuccessful courting doesn't help and he spends the last week carrying out his regimental duties. Giles Etraseur is the other visitor to Red Phillips. He's there for two weeks after getting some female company at the Bawdyhouses and before going courting.
Dominique L'Etoile practises rapier for two weeks around an unproductive visit to a certain young lady. He concludes May with a trip to the Bawdyhouses for female company. Jean-Pierre le Crow does the same after his three weeks practice. Stan Dandy Liver and Orson de Combat are in the gyms all month: the former with his cutlass, the latter with his sabre.
Musketballs all round
As the weather gets better, there is more military activity on France's borders. The Crown Prince Cuirassiers are assigned to support First Frontier regiment, but things work out rather differently. The cavalry is ambushed while still on the road. Colonel Stewart Senquiry is the first to leave the battlefield, followed by most of his men. This brings the Colonel some censure from his superiors - and most of society. Lt-Colonel Renaul Baptiste Grenoble endeavours to hold things together, receiving two Mentions in Despatches for his efforts. Only the arrival of the Frontier troops saves the day. Marching to the sound of the guns, Frontier Regiment 1 puts in some well-aimed volleys to stop the attack. This is aided by the attached Battalion of Picardy Musketeers under the command of Lt-Colonel Michel Entire. A MiD comes Entire's way along with the best part of 500 Crowns booty as he helps clear the field of battle.
The QOCs' support of Frontier Regiment 2 is bolstered by the arrival of the Dragoon Guards (though 1st Squadron was already attached). The Queen's Own let the gung-ho fresh troops take the brunt of the action. This does not mean that the month is without rewards for them, though. QOC commander Roland Pollee d'Eaulee is Mentioned in Despatches and sweeps up a hundred or so crowns of booty. Brevet Major J'accuse L'amour has his rank made permanent. The Dragoon Guards see off an attack by Spanish forces, with Swender de Jewel's first Squadron leading the way. A Mention in Despatches for new Lt-Colonel de Jewel brings him a Knighthood as well. And he collects over a hundred crowns in loot. Colonel Herve d'Conde is promoted to (brevet) Brigadier-General and picks up more than twice as much booty. And Subaltern Jean Paul Amiss survives his first month in action as a junior officer.
The Cardinal's Guard is still with Frontier Regiment 3, though the attached Battalion of the Royal Foot Guards has been re-assigned. The two regiments have a relatively quiet month. A few skirmishes see a few casualties. Armand dan Gerous meets a musketball with his name on it. RIP. Alan à Ganatcher Alie keeps out of the way of any bullets, which brings him a further reprimand. Lt-Colonel Leffe Bier eschews the safety offered by his rank and prestigious regiment and leads patrols in person. Sadly this catches up with him when one of his patrols is ridden down by Spanish cavalrymen. RIP. CG commander Jean Laissez Faire has a brief Mention in Despatches for his eulogy and pockets a small amount of plunder.
The Royal Foot Guards join the battle-scarred Archduke Leopold Cuirassiers in support of Frontier Regiment 4 in the Pyrenees. Ignoring the advice of the men on the ground, the RFG Battalions march into the mountains in search of the enemy. They find them, in the form of guerrillas who attack and run. Second Battalion is hit first, an unexpected fusillade killing Captain Jon de Pull before he knows what hit him. RIP. After a couple of musketballs zip past his ears, Major Egon Mad 2 orders his men to retire. His entertaining report brings him two Mentions in Despatches ("man's hearing things ... twice"). Lt-Colonel Lun a'Tic presses forward with First Battalion, only to come under fire as well. He orders his men to return fire, but they are unprepared. His Captains try to rally the men, but a musketball ricochets off a rock and hits Captain Emmanuel Banois. RIP. The men take cover and the attackers melt away. The Lt-Colonel is Mentioned twice himself and there is another Mention for Captain Indie Spencible. Brevet Subaltern Jacen Moulan has his rank made permanent.
As acting commander of Third Battalion, Captain Beau Romir is more circumspect. After all, he didn't expect to be in action this month. There is a Mention for him, though. Colonel Averell d'Alton is promoted to (brevet) Brigadier-General and also sees his name in the Despatches. Meanwhile Major Roget de Saurus is not serving with his regiment as he is Brigade Major. Attached to Frontier Regiment 4, he can only watch his battered colleagues return to camp. He still receives a Mention in Despatches. His Majesty is eager that his favourite regiment gets more recognition and bestows a Knighthood on the Regimental Adjutant, Indie Spencible.
The Royal North Highlanders have something of a rest. General Revaulvin d'Or and RM Lt-Colonel Beau de Cire pass a relatively peaceful month. The General manages to add a few hundred more crowns to his financial reserves.