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Les Petites Bêtes Soyeuses

Players' Press for June 1671

Sections: Announcements, Blatant Brown-nosing, Despatches from the Front, Matters of Honour, Military Missives, Ministerial Correspondence, Personal, Poetry Corner, Social


Calling All Loyal Ex-Soldiers of the Royal Foot Guards and King's Musketeers:
All former members of the above regiments still hale and hearty enough to wield a sword or shoot a musket are hereby requested to re-join the colours and serve with the newly founded Guards Reserve Battalion for the duration of the Summer.
The Mad Traitor Baron Felix Anton Gauchepied'er is currently sweeping the gutters of Paris in an attempt to raise a battalion of rebels whose sole purpose is to do His Majesty harm. No loyal subject of the King will consent to allowing this to happen unchecked.
Please present yourselves at the Barracks of the King's Musketeers without delay and volunteer to join the Foot Guards Company or Musketeers Company (whichever is appropriate) of the Guards Reserve Battalion without delay. Arms and uniforms will be provided if necessary and regular pay provided for the duration of the Summer.
† Brigadier-General Viscount Duncan d'Eauneurts, OC King's Musketeers, His Majesty's Minister of State.

Greg de Bécqueur asks Major N1 of the King's Musketeers to resign. Again! Having failed to win an influential mistress in May, I decided to wait a month while I gather support.


Since the fine fighting men of France are at the front, someone needs to keep the country running and, as such, General le Marquis Sebastian de le Creme will be hosting gatherings at the Fleur throughout July and August for all upstanding members of society.
Just because there is a war going on, someone needs to keep on top of things and, as a Minister, the Marquis is keen to hear of any issues on France that need to reach the ear of the King from his more important subjects.
So, why not come along, have a glass or two of wine, raise a toast to the fighting men and to the King himself and discuss politics and such? Having been at the front for many months, the General is also keen to understand any goings-on and for someone to explain the rumours of the four horsemen.

[OOC: Party at Fleur throughout July open to SL18+, July will likely be SL 19+, but please check.]


Brigadier General Viscount Duncan d'Eauneurts, His Majesty's Minister of State, to
General (Retd) Count Was Nae Me
Hello Old Friend,
I trust that a modicum of boredom has set in regards your retirement since, in the name of His Majesty and our Beloved France, I needs must ask your help.
As you may have heard, a dangerous madman has barricaded himself in the Bastille and begun to raise troops with the intention of threatening the Person of His Majesty. I speak, of course, of our old friend Baron Felix Anton Gauchepied'er. Having offered an unforgivably treasonous insult to His Majesty when I was cleared of all charges at my recent trial, the lunatic has now had the temerity to 'declare war' on His Majesty and treasonously invited the other monarchs of Europe to invade our beloved France in support of the rebellion he seeks to foster.
I have no doubt that the regular troops and frontier regiments will be up to the task of repelling any outside invasion, but it seems that the only troops in Paris over the Summer will be this battalion of traitors which Gauchepied'er is seeking to raise.
I'm sure you will agree that leaving His Majesty, the Royal Family and the legally constituted government at the mercy of these blackguards would be intolerable. Consequently, I am recalling all former Foot Guards and King's Musketeers to re-join the colours in hopes of establishing a Reserve Guards Battalion whose purpose will be to defend the King until the regular guards return. (I am currently funding this unit at my own expense, but hope that other loyal gentlemen may contribute to the costs).
The Reserve Guards Battalion will need a loyal and able commander - and naturally my first choice would be your good self as my predecessor in commanding The King's Musketeers. I'm certain that your sense of duty will compel you present yourself at the barracks forthwith and accept this temporary command.
    His Majesty's Most Loyal and Devoted Subject,
† Viscount Duncan d'Eauneurts

Brigadier General Viscount Duncan d'Eauneurts, His Majesty's Minister of State, to
Marquis Beau Reese Jean Seine, Field Marshal Count Uther Xavier-Beauregard, Major Bastian de LaGarde, Captain Luc Azzat, Viscount Pierre le Sang and Marquis Terence Cuckpowder,
Thank you, Gentlemen, for your welcome support during my recent trial. If I can ever be of service in the future, please don't hesitate to ask.
Unfortunately, Paris (and indeed His Majesty) is not yet safe from the malicious, if deluded, machinations of our lunatic Commissioner. You will be aware that he has 'declared war' on the King and, as we speak, is traitorously attempting to raise a battalion of misguided rebels in order to secure the throne for himself.
To counter this I am raising a Reserve Guards Battalion to safeguard the Person of His Majesty whilst the regular army is away at the front. The cost of this is prohibitive, however - 3,000 Crowns per month. Any contributions you might make to this patriotic and laudable endeavour would be greatly appreciated.
Indeed it strikes me that other loyal subjects of the Crown may also wish to contribute. If you are closely acquainted with any such (the vast fortunes of Count Amant d'Au -- a Minister without Portfolio who was notably silent regards the trial - and Count Jacques de Gain spring immediately to mind) please encourage them to send to me what monies they can in support.
    His Majesty's Most Loyal and Devoted Subject,
†Viscount Duncan d'Eauneurts, His Majesty's Minister of State.

To Baron Felix de Gauchpied'er
Thank you for your letter of resignation which I must accept.
I was happy to welcome you into the Cardinal's Guard after your differences with the King's Musketeers - after all who doesn't have issues with them?
Your adventures as CPS have caused a mixture of amusement and consternation in the regiment but, as you know, a whole battalion volunteered to help you find Trissy.
However, once you decided to raise your banners against the King your position in the regiment became untenable. I would therefore ask you to reconsider your actions and remember that a King outranks a Queen.
    Yours, † Baron Alain de Frocked

Letter to the esteemed Marquis Terence Cuckpowder:
I have received you generous gift and am in your debt. If I can repay it with good deeds just command me to do so.
    Yours in Service,
† Bendroit de Très

Lord Percy Percy says, as fashion is tending towards the totally disorganised, Sebastian de la Creme is fashionable.

Myself, Marquis Etienne Brule, Viscount Pierre le Sang and Marquis Terence Cuckpowder have all voted in support of the proposal that membership of the club be restricted to Generals and those enjoying a Ministerial Title - removing eligibility from those holding the appointment of Commissioner of Public Safety.
If you have yet to vote on this issue, please do so forthwith. Any further abstentions will be taken to denote tacit support for the proposed change.
† Viscount Duncan d'Eauneurts, Minister of State.

I am proud to watch his Majesty's forces march out of Paris to the front. Success attend their arms! Long live their Majesties!
† Lt General Cuckpowder (brev)

Open letter to all members of the Cardinal's Guard.
Rejoice! You can now hold your heads high once again as that blithering idiot Gauchepied'er is no longer a member of this Regiment.
† Lt.Col. Sir Jean d'Ice

Viscount Duncan d'Eauneurts, His Majesty's Minister of State, to
Viscount Pierre le Sang, OC 2nd Army
My Lord,
Thanks to an unfortunate state of agitation at my recent trial I mistakenly stated that your personal finances enjoyed a fillip and Baron Gauchepied'er's decreased during the month of Captain von Bismarch's trial. It was, of course, in the month of Baron Gauchepied'er's appointment as Commissioner of Public Safety that this circumstance occurred.
Please accept my most sincere apologies,
† Viscount d'Eauneurts

Ok, I am up for it: where is that Traitorous, anti-Christion powder puff? Or his sycophant? Should I fall, then loyal patriots and Christians avenge me! While I long to be defending our beloved country against the foreign foes, those closer to home need also dealing with, so my attendance at the front may wait a short while 'til I see if this weasel stays around to face me and there is a suitable military opening. Oh, no offence to mustelids intended.
† Henri

Application to Picardy Musketeers
Honourable Colonel Georges Dueppre,
Please accept my application to the Picardy Musketeers. I long to serve with you during the summer campaign at the front to further the glorious grand nation.
    Yours, † Bendroit de Très
[OOC: BDT applies for admittance to the PM in JULY.]

Brigadier-General Viscount Duncan d'Eauneurts, OC The King's Musketeers, His Majesty's Minister of State, to
Brigadier-General Sir Gaz Moutarde,
Sir Gaz,
I added my support to your efforts to persuade the Guards Brigadier to resign. He has long been regarded as a military incompetent and replacing him may help conserve the lives of the men under my command.
Should you replace him as commander of the Guards Brigade and retain the post in the Autumn I would consider it a kindness if I could be consulted before any decision at Brigade level regarding my own command, The King's Musketeers, is made.
    Good Hunting,
† Brigader d'Eauneurts

Have you ever suffered from incompetent servants? Have your staff let you down by double booking you? Why not try the DIARY? The DIARY travels with your everywhere and records your appointments. No more relying on some spotty Herbert or Jane, when you could have complete control? Try the DIARY.

Poetry Corner

(All signed poetry submissions gain their author at least 1 SP)

The Queen's Carabiniers think
A soldier looks pretty in pink.
So they dress up in hose
Dyed a pale shade of rose,
Worn under a coat made of mink.
† Le Salame Disparu