Les Petites Bêtes Soyeuses

Players' Press for February 1676

Sections: Announcements, Blatant Brown-nosing, Despatches from the Front, Matters of Honour, Military Missives, Ministerial Correspondence, Personal, Poetry Corner, Social

Announcements

The Royal Foot Guards seeks officers and men. Apply to regimental HQ.
† Beau Reese Jean Seine

Lt General's Aide and Divisional Adjutant sought for 2nd Division Commander for upcoming campaign.
Apply with Particulars ASAP - Bullet dodgers need not apply.
† Lt Gen ZUT, 2nd Division CO

Fleur bonds sought. Open to all reasonable offers.
† Beau Reese Jean Seine

** Join the QOC **
Gentleman of Paris, if you are new to the city or are looking for a new Regiment, then you can do no better than join the Queen's Own Carabiniers.
Please contact me for more details, and some financial help is available.
† Viscount Thyme

Matters of Honour

The barracks of the CPC, a large courtyard and a large and lean chap sweeping it.
Octo saunters up to him nonchalantly, chewing on some twig to clean his teeth.
"Oi, Arent! I saw that note on the posts earlier today. Are you in trouble, mate? If yes, I could support you against whoever wants to cross blades with the Crown Prince's Finest! Are you in?"

Social

Jacques As Warm-up Race
After the successful turnout of my last race, I have decided to organise another one!
Let's all prepare for the Jacques As Memorial Stakes in April by running another race in March.
When: Week 2 of March.
Where: Le Prix d'Or.
Entry price: 50 GC per racer.
Who is welcome: Everyone, except the lame donkey-riders of the ALC.
Audience welcome, ladies welcome, drinks will flow freely.
Looking forward to another big turnout.
† Sir Louis Severin Descartes
Br Brigadier GDMD, Quartermaster General

But what's the prize pot?
† Le Roi

Gentlemen of Paris,
During week 2 Miss Nifisent and I will be dining at my club and be delighted to receive gentlemen and their ladies for polite discussion and to play cards; refreshments at my expense.
Unfortunately, this invitation does not include members of the Dragoon Guards as they continue to try and put holes in my aide, Captain Stanbul.
† Baron Louis Renault

Neville Moore invites everyone to his club in the third week of March for the third annual chess tournament. First prize is 1,000 crowns, second prize 500 crowns and third prize 250 crowns.

Gentlemen of Paris (social level 8 and above), please bring your ladies to an Easter Egg Hunt in March, Week 4. There will be a prize for the lady wearing the most unusual Easter Bonnet. Members of enemy regiments will not be admitted.
Yours etc,
† Yve Stanbul

Personal

Messieurs,
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned but, Thierry Tiny Todger Toothpick, you will soon learn that this is but a dim spark compared to the furnace I will throw you into.
Your treachery and betrayal are breathtaking and I will have revenge - in this life or the next!
† Claud De Nord

Heard the news?
One of the RFG officers is getting uppity.
Who was that with Madeleine?
That little fellow, is it Toothpick?
Oh, I thought she was with de Nord.
Looking for a fight with a member of a Friendly Regiment?
Ouch, who is his second?
Seconds to each other, aren't they?
Eh, what the hell is going on?
Falling out, big time.
RFG Officer getting above his station.
I think Toothpick needs to be put in his place.
Every chance the little coward skips the duel.
No seconds, will surrender be accepted?
Doubt I would accept it in de Nord's place.
Second that sentiment!

Poetry Corner

(All signed poetry submissions gain their author at least 1 SP)

Gentlemen, volunteer,
Time to pack up your tack and gear.
Off to the front again
To fight against the men of Spain,
The Brandenburgers and the Dutch.
To strengthen with a touch of steel
Our Frontier forces
With fighting men and fresher horses.
It will be cold, so don't forget
To take along an extra blanket
And, to keep you warm 'til you get back,
Take a bottle or three of fine cognac.
† FXC

1 Brave Sir Louis had a problem:
Swordplay can leave a scar.
He's a lover, not a fighter,
What's just one faux-pas?
2 Now his words come back to bite him,
The sword will have its say.
His liver fears examination:
Lily, puce, or beige?
3 Never fear, my trembling peer,
Your friends will see you right.
They'll keep you safe from cut and thrust.
Your name, alas, is mud.
† TdlL