Les Petites Bêtes Soyeuses

Players' Press for May 1676

Sections: Announcements, Blatant Brown-nosing, Despatches from the Front, Matters of Honour, Military Missives, Ministerial Correspondence, Personal, Poetry Corner, Social

Announcements

** Aide Required **
I am looking for a competent aide.
Please contact me with your credentials.
† (Brevet) Bdr-General Count Thyme

B. Gen le Marquis Camille de Polignac requires an aide. Volunteers are requested to send their applications so that the chosen candidate can be hired by May.

Poste Vacante
The commander of the 2nd Foot Brigade (i.e. Hugo Furst, i.e. myself) finds himself (i.e. myself) in need of a suitable Aide to aid him (me). Must be capable of composing a coherent sentence.
Applications in writing or over the aether (or whatever) to me (i.e. Brigadier Furst).
All the best,
† Hugo.
P.S. Did that make sense?

** Join the QOC **
Gentleman of Paris, if you are new to the city or are looking for a new Regiment, then you can do no better than join the Queen's Own Carabiniers.
Please contact me for more details, and some financial help is available.
† Count Thyme

Aide wanted.
Capable Gentlemen please contact me.
† Bdr-General A. Alsace

To all members of the QOC: a reminder that we will be deployed for Field Operations during the upcoming summer campaign. Prepare accordingly, and don't forget to give your Mistresses a long kiss goodbye - Vive la France!
† (Brevet) Bdr-General QOC Count Thyme

Despatches from the Front

How can I get promoted? Anon

Matters of Honour

Sir Toothpick,
I appreciate your honourable conduct in answering my challenge last month.
For me, this concludes all enmity between us, and I shall bear no more grudge against you.
Let me wish you all the best for the Summer Campaign with your new regiment.
† Marquis Louis Severin Descartes

Personal

For the attention of Brig Gen Charles PiedLuminare
Sir,
With reference to your missive regarding the fair Mlle Bott, I am at a loss to understand how this conflict has arisen. I at no time was informed by the dear lady that she had an attachment with another gentleman in Paris, nor did I see any indication of an attachment from my enquiries.
Could it be your extended absence from Paris has cooled her affections?
Naturally should you feel it necessary to resolve this unfortunate occurrence, I will of course oblige you at the earliest convenience - subject only to the requirements of our military service. Although I would suggest it might not be in the best interest of the state in advance of the campaigning season to have either of us recovering from injury and potentially not at our peak efficiency.

Justin Saad,
The time-honoured way for a man seeking a regiment is to apply to such regiment.
You may try this and be surprised by how easy it can be.
I wish you all the best,
† Marquis Louis Severin Descartes

Lord Percy Percy says, as fashion is tending towards the incomprehensible, Toothpick is incredibly fashionable.

Paris,
It appears clear that Monsieur Toothpick, with his orange face cream and swollen ankles, has had a seizure and is no longer making sense.
† A concerned citizen

To: MoS, Earl Shaw
So, Your Grace, it's that time of year coming up again when bureaucracy requires the old signature on the appointment scroll, or in this instance the RE-APPOINTMENT scroll.
I shall, of course, do my part by filing my application to continue in post, I'm sure that His Majesty is really looking forward to our partnership in tackling the crime afflicting Paris and how we shall rid the streets of numerous traitors. It goes to say that you will receive my unwavering loyalty. Once we've gotten Cuckpowder out of the way, permanently this time, along with that witch woman Le Fey, it'll be time to crack on rounding up the others. My Tangerines Team are adept at such, so rest assured that none of the criminals will escape the clutches of the law!
I'm nipping off to the Front this month - well, you know me, loyal patriot, brave and keen to lead my troopers against the enemies of King and Country. Will be back soon, hopefully as a Baron!
† Lt Colonel Thierry Toothpick
Dragoon Guards
Commissioner of Public Safety

Poetry Corner

(All signed poetry submissions gain their author at least 1 SP)

Another month at the front again,
Fighting all those orange men,
Crushing all our enemies.
It seems a strange irony,
With recent history: you might think we
Were still back home in gay Paris.
I look forward to a time when
I spend an evening near the Seine.
† FXC