Les Petites Bêtes Soyeuses
Main Index
LPBS rules (PDF 0.4 Mb)
May index
May's report
May's Press
May's Greasy Pole
May's information
May's tables
May's Points Arising
Les Petites Bêtes Soyeuses
Being a correspondence game of En Garde! run by Pevans since April 1986 and now published as part of To Win Just Once.
If you'd like to play, you'll need to subscribe to TWJO (follow the link for details). You will need a copy of the rules to En Garde! - or at least access to a copy. The additional rules for LPBS are available as a PDF document. (You will need Adobe Reader to view this: it is available free from Adobe.)
Orders for June and July 1677 to LPBS, 180 Aylsham Drive, Uxbridge UB10 8UF or the LPBS orders e-mail address by 20th March 2026.
Game Report for May 1677
Sections: Duels, Trials, Appointments and Regiments, What happened in Paris, What happened at the front.
May day celebrations over, it's time to turn to the task of slicing up people with sharp steel. Or affairs of honour, as they're known. Taking to the field (okay, it's a secluded courtyard) first are Justin Thyme and "Tiny" Thierry Toothpick. Or they would be if Thierry could be bothered to turn up. Instead, Justin and Rick Shaw, his second, find a gang of orange-clad miscreants who fire rotten fruit at them along with a scroll entitled "Arrest-in-waiting". The gist of the document is that Justin is to report to the Bastille next month once Thierry "has been reinstated as CPS". Strangely, the Tangerines are themselves being harassed by a group of urchins mocking their strange colouring (and chucking the odd stone).
After a change of clothes, Justin and Rick repair to their meeting with Maurice Danseur, approaching it with some trepidation. However, Maurice is there, accompanied only by his second, Louis Severin Descartes. This is sabre versus sabre with Justin's advantage being skill and Maurice's size. Justin's expertise means he is first to draw blood, but a lunge with a sabre is hardly a killing blow. Then he discovers just how strong Maurice's arm is when he's on the receiving end of a slash. His own slash in response isn't nearly so powerful. The two men trade slashes again and Justin throws in the towel.
Justin's third duel should be against Balzac Slapdash, but he's too damaged to be able to fight again. Not that Balzac turns up - he's nursing his own, minor wounds.
Hence there's no sign of Balzac when Con Stantinople arrives for their clash. So Con takes his sabre and two seconds (Justin Saad and Thibault Chanson de Skye) to face Maurice (and Louis). Despite his fresh wounds, Maurice is still bigger and stronger. What's more, he has the greater expertise this time. Con slashes, Maurice slashes, Con surrenders.
This means Con has a reasonable excuse not to meet Thierry - thus avoiding his tangerine terrors - and instead treats his seconds to a "full Scottish Breakfast". (It's like a "full English" but with added haggis.) Is this a left-over from the Auld Alliance?
Ian Dediette is not so lucky. He (and Greg de Bécqueur in seconding mode) roll up for his duel with Thierry and get the rotten fruit plus scroll treatment from the tangerine types. Cheered on by the urchins taunting the orange ones, the two lay into the luminescent louts who leave like lightning.
Slightly 'fragrant' from the fruit, Ian moves on to square up to Maurice. Again, all the advantages are with Maurice. The duellists exchange slashes and Ian surrenders. That's three from three for the Dragoon Guard versus the Queen's Own and gives Major Danseur sufficient incentive to remain in Paris, apparently.
Ian should have a final rendezvous with Balzac, but he's still resting up.
A lack of influence
The Brigadier of the Dragoons laughs off Charles PiedLuminaire's request that he resign, so Charles's ambition to become Brigadier goes nowhere. If only someone felt like using their influence to support him.
Sebastian Blanc-Chevaux does call in a favour to remove the senior Major in his regiment, the 53rd Fusiliers, but it's not enough to get the job done. Mind you, there's already a vacancy at Major that Sebastian is able to buy his way into.
The 53rd get a new recruit as well. Justin Saad is accepted into the regiment and buys the rank of Captain. And then marches to join the regiment in battle.
Second Division commander Louis Renault makes PLLD Lt-Colonel Dee Jean Aise the Division's Adjutant.
Beaumes de Venise buys promotion to Subaltern in the 27th Musketeers but does not expect Thibault Chanson de Skye's offer to become his Aide. The appointment remains vacant for this month. Since Beaumes did not anticipate being in action, this may be a blessing: Thibault mobilises Fourth Foot Brigade for the last month of Spring. That's once he's rescheduled his debts.
His promotion last month leaves Steve De Sade in charge of third squadron of the Grand Duke Max's and he promptly orders his new command to join him at the front.
Having carefully avoided being ordered to the Low Countries at the start of the Spring, "Tiny" Thierry Toothpick now marches off with the first squadron of the Dragoon Guards.
And Lieutenant-General Bernard de Lur-Saluces and Brigadier-General Henri DuShite volunteer themselves for a month's service with the Royal North Highland Borderers.
Clashing parties
As so many socialites are on active service this month, Paris is pretty quiet. And it will be worse next month once the army has departed for the summer campaign.
Still, Louis Renault manages to throw his May Ball (with Maggie Nifisent as hostess) and get a decent turnout. This includes members of the Dragoon Guards and Queen's Own Carabiniers, to refresh their regimental rivalry - though Maurice was hoping to "dance the night away" with Belle Epoque. For the former regiment, it's CO Balzac Slapdash and Major Maurice Danseur. Squaring up to them (again) are QOC commander Justin Thyme and Major Ian Dediette. Who will win the duels next month, I wonder.
Louis's bash coincides with Jacques Hatt's gathering for those serving with Third Army - to co-ordinate vital details for the campaign. With First, Second and Fourth Foot already fighting in the Netherlands, there's only Third Foot in Paris to co-ordinate with itself. Still, Brigadier Louis Severin Descartes attends - after inspecting both regiments in his command the week before - and co-ordinates with Beaumes de Venise of the 27th Musketeers. That's Private Beaumes de Venise... A man whose courting succeeded the week before, but who doesn't bring his new escort to the party! Louis is particularly pleased to catch up with Jacques as he was commander of the GDMD when Louis started his career there. "Good old times," is Louis's toast.
It's possible Con Stantinople intends to join one of these parties, but he can't remember his host's name. Jacques or Louis? Louis or Jacques? It's so confusing...
Who was where: in the clubs |
||||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Where | Week 1 | Week 2 | Week 3 | Week 4 |
| Fleur de Lys | JiT + Guinevere | JH + Cath | JiT + Guinevere | |
| BeV + Lotte | . BdV | ZvT | ||
| GdB + Bette | . LSD + Edna | LR + Maggie | ||
| JH + Cath | LR + Maggie | |||
| . FdB + Freda | ||||
| . BS + Therèse | ||||
| . JiT + Guinevere | ||||
| . VdF | ||||
| . BLC + Eve | ||||
| . AA | ||||
| . ElF + Lucy | ||||
| . GdB + Bette | ||||
| . ID | ||||
| . MD + Belle | ||||
| Bothwell's | ElF | |||
| Hunter's | MD + Belle | AA | AA | |
| CS + Anne | CS + Anne | |||
| Red Phillips | BdV | |||
| Shows who was in or outside a club: . = Toady to character above; (G) = Gambled; CP = Toadying to Crown Prince; (id) = expected host; bold = first visit to new club; underline = first time mistress seen in public with this beau. | ||||
There's only one other man courting this month: congratulations, Rick Shaw. Shame he didn't know what to do with himself at the end of the month after that success.
Who was where: courting, visiting and going out |
||||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Where | Week 1 | Week 2 | Week 3 | Week 4 |
| Anne | Out | Out | ||
| Belle | Out | Out | ||
| Bette | Out | Out | ||
| Cath | Out | Out | ||
| Edna | Out | LSD at home | ||
| Eve | Out | |||
| Freda | Out | |||
| Guinevere | Out | Out | Out | |
| Justine | RS fails | RS succeeds | ||
| Lois | BdV succeeds | |||
| Lotte | Out | |||
| Lucy | Out | |||
| Maggie | Out | Out | ||
| Morgane | ZvT at home | |||
| Therèse | Out | |||
| Shows who was with a mistress or on a doorstep: Out = Mistress with current lover; I = Indiscreet (+ mistress name); ex-id = Pinched from former lover; st.down = stood down to rivals. | ||||
Who was where: round and about |
||||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Where | Week 1 | Week 2 | Week 3 | Week 4 |
| Bawdy houses | AH | VdF + FC | ||
| AA + FC | ||||
| ID + FC | ||||
| Practising | FdB - Sabre | ZvT - Rapier | FdB - Sabre | FdB - Sabre |
| BS - Rapier | AH - Sabre | BS - Rapier | BS - Rapier | |
| VdF - Sabre | JdG - Rapier | JiT - Sabre | VdF - Sabre | |
| BLC - Sabre | BeV - Sabre | ZvT - Rapier | AH - Sabre | |
| JdG - Rapier | AH - Sabre | BLC - Sabre | ||
| CS - Sabre | BLC - Sabre | JdG - Rapier | ||
| LR - Rapier | JdG - Rapier | ElF - Sabre | ||
| ElF - Sabre | BeV - Sabre | |||
| RS - Sabre | GdB - Sabre | |||
| LSD - Sabre | ID - Sabre | |||
| BeV - Sabre | MD - Sabre | |||
| GdB - Rapier | JH - Sabre | |||
| ID - Sabre | ||||
| MD - Sabre | ||||
| JH - Sabre | ||||
| LR - Rapier | ||||
| Regimental Duties | BdV | |||
| IP | ||||
| Busy doing nothing | CS -Toady to ???? | RS | ||
| Inspecting his new command | LSD | |||
| Shows everybody else: FC = Female Companionship; Mug n = Mugged & amount lost; (G) = Gambled; Weapon = Weapon practised with. For those doing nothing: -club = not a member of a club; -Cash = insufficient funds; -SL = insufficient Social Level; ???? = unknown host. | ||||
Lots of loot
And so to the action in the Netherlands, where this month's particular objective is Saint-Omer. The fresh troops of Fourth Foot Brigade are first into the assault, but find the defenders equal to their onslaught. Still, Brigadier Thibault Chanson de Skye finds himself promoted to (brevet) Lieutenant-General - something that's even Mentioned in Despatches ("Skye was promoted"). Somehow he finds almost two thousand crowns worth of loot along the way.
Second Foot is also rebuffed. The 53rd Fusiliers take the worst beating as their approach has been mined. The explosion catches Captain Justin Saad (and many others) in the front of the attack and spreads their remains over a wide area. RIP. The rest of the regiment retires in confusion with Major Sebastian Blanc-Chevaux (himself almost caught in the blast) earning a Mention in Despatches for rallying what's left of his battalion. Captain Beau Taux also survives to gain promotion to Major. He has sufficient funds to buy the two horses he needs for his new rank.
While not caught in the explosion, the 13th Fusiliers are still affected. Major Charles Etfeevor leads the withdrawal from the area. It's a very rapid withdrawal and this behaviour leads to a certain loss of face - not to mention a stiff reprimand. Contrarily, Captain Henri De Flection earns promotion to Major for stemming the flow from the battlefield - a feat that also brings him a pat on the back from His Majesty.
Second Foot Brigadier Hugo Furst is brevetted to Lt-General despite everything.
There's finally some success for First Foot Brigade. The Picardy Musketeers charge over the ramparts, though many brave soldiers are spitted on enemy pikes - Major Barthélemy Chifflet among them. RIP. The Royal Marines use their boating expertise to outflank the enemy's defences and rout them. Lt-Colonel Marcel Hatch Dupree picks up nearly a thousand crowns' worth of loot and receives a Mention in Despatches ("First into the plunder"). Brigadier Percival Puffington is pleased by this month's work, while his Brigade Major, Chemin de Fer, sees his name in the Despatches ("Fine handwriting").
The Guards Brigade crushes the remaining resistance. Though the Cardinal's Guard is not as effective as the other two regiments. This still brings in well over a thousand crowns' worth of plunder for the CO, Frank X Change. He survives a brush with a musketball coming the other way to be Mentioned ("That was close"). Lt-Colonel Come Asiouar grabs less a thousand crowns' worth of booty, but is at least Mentioned in more detail ("A fine display of all that's best in the French military - shame it wasn't a bigger haul").
The King's Musketeers charge into the town so that the regiment's commander, Claude de Nord, can plunder over two thousand crowns' worth of goodies. A note in the Despatches declares "Top of the leader board". There's just over one thousand crowns for Captain Hugo Serre, who also finds his name Mentioned ("Not up to his CO's standard").
It's the Royal Foot Guards who do the bulk of the looting of course. Their leader, Camille de Polignac, limits himself to just over a thousand crowns' worth so that he can pose heroically at strategic positions, earning himself two Mentions in Despatches ("He's a hero!" "And all over town!"). Lt-Colonel Martin de Garnache plunders a bit more, but still worth less than fifteen hundred crowns. It's over two thousand crowns' worth for senior Major Hector William Boone, tying him with Nord in the KMs. The junior Major, Neville Moore, can only manage fifteen hundred crowns' worth. But Captain Felipe Savant gets close to the top, almost managing two thousand crowns' worth of booty.
Guards Brigadier Terence Cuckpowder joins in and picks up just over fifteen hundred crowns' worth to go with his two MiDs ("A decent haul").
Cavalry support comes from Archduke Leopold's Cuirassiers and Princess Louisa's Light Dragoons. The Cuirassiers just ride over the hasty earthworks thrown up by recently arrived Spanish troops and chase them off the battlefield. That's a Mention in Despatches for the regiment's CO, Hugh Jeneaux ("Just what the cavalry's for"), along with discarded Spanish equipment worth nearly fifteen hundred crowns.
The Light Dragoons see off approaching Dutch reinforcements, whose abandoned kit brings in over five hundred crowns for commander Charles PiedLuminaire and over two thousand for Lt-Colonel Dee Jean Aise. A Mention in Despatches comes Dee's way as well ("A new name at the top of the table").
Frontier regiment 1 doesn't seem to gain any benefit from having three cavalry squadrons attached. However, "Tiny" Thierry Toothpick gets a MiD for leading his Dragoon Guards ("CPS in action!"), as do Major Pierre De Terre, commanding second squadron of the GDMD, and Major Steve De Sade, in charge of third squadron. Captain Maximilien de Piquemaire, 2nd GDMD, survives a close encounter with an Imperial sabre.
Brigadier-General Henri DuShite shows what he's made of by leading a battalion of the RNHB to a fine victory. A Mention in Despatches records his achievement as he piles up nearly twenty-five hundred crowns' worth of loot.
Lieutenant-General Bernard de Lur-Saluces demonstrates what he's made of - and it's not the stern stuff required for the RNHB. He dawdles at the back of his battalion and ducks away from certain death. He is promptly cashiered and stripped of his rank, losing his appointment as Provincial Military Governor as well.