Les Petites Bêtes Soyeuses
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Les Petites Bêtes Soyeuses
Being a correspondence game of En Garde! run by Pevans since April 1986 and now published as part of To Win Just Once.
If you'd like to play, you'll need to subscribe to TWJO (follow the link for details). You will need a copy of the rules to En Garde! - or at least access to a copy. The additional rules for LPBS are available as a PDF document. (You will need Adobe Reader to view this: it is available free from Adobe.)
Orders for August 1676 to LPBS, 180 Aylsham Drive, Uxbridge UB10 8UF or the LPBS orders e-mail address by 21st March 2025.
Game Report for July 1676
Sections: Duels, Trials, Appointments and Regiments, What happened in Paris, What happened at the front.
The army may be in action in the Low Countries, but there are still recruits and promotions to deal with. Not to mention some financial transactions - such as Louis Severin Descartes writing off his months-old loan to his colleague, Elroi le Flingue. Terence Cuckpowder is spreading largesse around, as his wont, donating sums to new arrivals in Paris. And the moneylenders are very happy when someone on active service repays their loan. As Chemin de Fer does, for example.
The 27th Musketeers is one regiment attracting applicants. Both Agaric Champignon and Justin Cartier are accepted when they put themselves forward. Justin would like to take the vacant Major's position, but doesn't have the funds for the necessary horses. Perhaps he should have taken out a larger loan. Still, he can afford to be a Captain. Agaric did borrow plenty of cash, but Captain is the limit of his current ambitions.
Sebastian Blanc-Chevaux signs up with the 53rd Fusiliers, courtesy of CO Armand Alsace, and can afford a Captaincy without any need to borrow.
Another new arrival, Ignace Pardaillon, offers his services to the Crown Prince Cuirassiers only to be rejected by their commander, Stephane Etrange. The Royal Marines are not interested, either. However, Louis Severin Descartes welcomes him to the Grand Duke Max's as a Trooper. Louis also signs up Steve De Sade, another Trooper.
"Tiny" Thierry Toothpick resigns his two-month old commission as a Major in the Cardinal's Guard to re-apply to the Royal Foot Guards. RFG boss Beau Reese Jean Seine is happy (!) to accept him, though a Captaincy is the highest rank available to Sir Thierry. That Knighthood means he's also eligible to be Commissioner of Public Safety. And Minister of State Beau Reese Jean Seine now appoints him to the post he's always hankered for. Brace, Paris, brace!
Having been brevetted to Captain, Chemin de Fer now holds the correct rank for Lieutenant-General Louis Renault to appoint him as his Aide. Unfortunately, there are two problems with this. First, Chemin doesn't have the social standing for this appointment. And, second, Louis already has an Aide!
Lt-Gen Ben e'Volence has an Aide, too, scuppering his intention of appointing Maurice Danseur to the post. For the second month in a row, Maurice fails to become a general officer's Aide.
The man who failed to install Maurice Danseur as his Aide last month, Brigadier-General Louis Severin Descartes, now offers the job to Pierre De Terre. After all, Pierre joined the regiment as a Subaltern last month, so should be ideally placed for this. What both men have failed to notice is that Pierre's last-month promotion to Captain means he's no longer eligible!
And all the new soldiers head off to join their regiments in action.
More sieges
Now that his promotion to Field Marshal been confirmed for next year, General Jacques de Gain can rest on his laurels as commander of Field Army. That's a thousand crowns' worth of laurels, as his Mention in Despatches points out.
Lieutenant-General Greg de Bécqueur commands First Division and is brevetted to General despite only moderate successes for the regiments within the Division. He grabs well over a thousand crowns' worth of loot from those successes, though.
There's promotion, too, for Brigadier-General Zeold von Tu commanding the Guards Brigade. He becomes a (brevet) Lt-General, gets a generous Mention in Despatches and assumes a new title: arise, Baron Tu. Martin de Garnache is his Brigade Major and concentrates on collecting loot. Over a thousand crowns is worth a brief Mention.
There's little success for the Royal Foot Guards, despite their status and the personal bravery of the senior officers. Their Colonel, Beau Reese Jean Seine, is first to put himself in the firing line. Well, adjacent to it anyway. He takes just over 500 crowns in booty as his reward. Lt-Colonel Camille de Polignac is right with him and gets exactly 500 crowns' worth of loot. It's the same for Major Hector William Boone. Senior Captain Neville Moore keeps his head down, which produces nothing for him. Captain Felipe Savant is so brave he gets Mentioned in the Despatches ("a brave Captain!"). While Captain Thierry Toothpick is equally brave, yet is overlooked (he's used to it).
Claude de Nord leads the King's Musketeers, who have a quiet month. So Nord and Lt-Col Frank X Change go looking for trouble and find a Dutch patrol. The exchange brings more than 500 crowns' worth of plunder for Nord, while Change picks up just over a thousand crowns' worth. Unsurprisingly, both men receive lengthy Mentions in Despatches.
The Picardy Musketeers are the success in First Foot Brigade, their gunfire downgrading the Dutch defenders opposing them. Colonel Percival Puffington is promoted to (brevet) Brigadier-General and pockets over 500 crowns.
There are more promotions in the Royal Marines. Captain Chemin de Fer has his brevet rank made permanent, while Major Marcel Hatch Dupree becomes Lt-Colonel.
First Foot Brigadier Henri DuShite basks in the Picardies' success and the MiD this brings him. Not to mention his new title of Count. And over a thousand crowns' worth of loot.
Besieging
Second Division does a bit better than First, though the only thing Division commander Zavier Ulric Turenne gets is 500 crowns' worth of booty.
In Second Foot Brigade, the 13th Fusiliers make headway against the Spanish garrison facing them. Lt-Col Hugo Furst runs the regiment and receives promotion to Colonel. Armand Alsace leads the 53rd to exploit this success, overrunning the enemy positions. Following the incapacitation of the Brigadier, Armand takes over command of Second Foot Brigade. Captain Sebastian Blanc-Chevaux is new to all this and gains no recognition.
4th Arquebusier Colonel Jean d'Aubergine can't make any headway with his regiment, but is still promoted to (brevet) Bdr-Gen. He makes sure to dip into the loot, taking over five hundred crowns. The 27th Musketeers provide Third Foot Brigade with its own success. Captain Agaric Champignon survives a close call with enemy pikes as he storms the defensive lines, but gets nothing. His fellow Captain, Justin Cartier, hits the jackpot, finding the Spaniards' command tent and pocketing nearly fifteen hundred crowns in actual cash.
The cavalry is getting bored of all this siege work - they're champing at the bit for some real, sweeping-across-the-countryside action. But it's not to be. The consolation is that foraging does allow the accumulation of plunder. Cavalry Division commander Ben e'Volence, for example, enriches himself to the tune of over fifteen hundred crowns.
Balzac Slapdash, commanding the Dragoon Guards, gets well under the 1,500. Still, he's also Mentioned in Despatches ("Forage, forage..."), brevetted to Brigadier-General and elevated to an Earldom. His sister regiment (and bitter rivals) in the Horse Guards, the Queen's Own Carabiniers, is led by Colonel Justin Thyme. He just gets made a Count. Lieutenant-Colonel Come Asiouar loots over 500 crowns' worth of goodies. Major Ian Dediette is back at the "well under 1,500" mark, but that's more than twice as much as Come took. And Captain Con Stantinople survives.
Things are a bit different in the Heavy Brigade. Though not for Hugh Jeneaux in charge of Archduke Leo's Cuirassiers. He snaffles close to a thousand crowns for himself and turns down promotion to Bdr-Gen.
It's the Crown Prince Cuirassiers who see action, mixing it with some Imperial cavalry. This follows the regiment's pickets intercepting a furtive fellow sneaking out of camp one night. This Dutchman's satchel contained a copy of the regiment's orders, but it's not clear how he got them. Consequently, CO Stephane Etrange has the regiment taking precautions against an ambush. They spot the Imperials lying in wait, but the ensuing fight is fierce. Stephane takes over a thousand crowns as his share of the booty and receives a Mention in Despatches. But his Lt-Col, Thibault Pinot-Noir, loses out. He charges into the middle of the fray only to find he's surrounded by Germanic sabres. RIP. Major Thierry Boule is not as brave, but still falls to those Teutonic blades. RIP. Benefitting from this is junior Major François de Blanchefort, who is promoted to fill the vacancy at Lt-Col. Captain Arent Hayes stays out of trouble.
And besieged
There's nothing much to report from the Frontier regiments. However, there are two Generals leading battalions of the RNHB. General Rick Shaw has a comfortable month directing his men and secures well over a thousand crowns' worth of loot from their endeavours. In contrast, General Jacques Hatt leads from the front and his bravery nets him 500 crowns' worth of booty. Plus a substantial Mention in Despatches.
This leaves the Dragoon Brigade, which is rather detached from the rest of the army. Brigade Major Botte Le Chimiste gets a piece of the action. A piece that's worth over a thousand crowns. In Princess Louisa's Light Dragoons, Major Charles PiedLuminaire redeems last month's behaviour to be brevetted to Lt-Colonel. That's worth a MiD. And he gets a pat on the back into the bargain.
Grand Duke Max's Dragoons have another successful month showing their Spanish opposition how it's done. As a result, their leader, Louis Severin Descartes, is Mentioned twice, collects nearly a thousand crowns' worth of goodies, is made a Baron and takes over command of the Brigade. There's just booty for Major Elroi le Flingue - a thousand crowns' worth. And there's just a vicious sword thrust for Captain Grenville d'Arkrite. A fatal one. RIP. Disappointed at not getting the Aide position he wanted, Captain Maurice Danseur leads his troop in a "do-or-die charge into the teeth of the enemy." He is promoted to fill the junior Major's slot, buying the extra horses he needs, and patted on the back. There's no reward for Captain Pierre De Terre this month. The new Troopers are rather different. Steve De Sade gets himself well over a thousand crowns' worth of loot. While Ignace Pardaillon skulks about at the back to avoid any risk and is hauled over the coals by his superiors.
The big news at the end of the month, however, is that, while the French army is besieging Dutch positions, that sneaky Orange Prince William has amassed a force (comprising Dutch, Spanish, English, Brandenburgers and Neuburgers contingents) and is laying siege to key French possession Maastricht. Something must be done! Probably involving the Cavalry division and the Guards...
One for the ladies
Hugo Serre is one new face in Paris who is in Paris. He clearly has an eye for the ladies, but rather over-reaches himself. His gifts of "flowers and a caged songbird" in one case and "flowers, fine wine, and candied fruits" in the other are accepted, but he is not! However, he finds time to be the sole guest of Louis Renault and Maggie Nifisent at their monthly get-together. Thus he witnesses Louis's flutter on the gaming tables. Despite losing his first 200-crown bet, Louis continues. He wins the next two and stops while he's ahead.
Paris at large is treated to the spectacle of small, orange-painted people parading around the streets with bugles, drums and banners proclaiming "Toothpick will prise out the Traitors" and "To the Bastille with the Big People!
Who was where: in the clubs |
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|---|---|---|---|---|
| Where | Week 1 | Week 2 | Week 3 | Week 4 |
| Fleur de Lys | TC + Morgane | JJ + Jacky | JJ + Jacky | |
| LR(G) + Maggie | ||||
| . HS | ||||
| Shows who was in or outside a club: . = Toady to character above; (G) = Gambled; CP = Crown Prince; (id) = expected host. | ||||
Who was where: courting, visiting and going out |
||||
| Where | Week 1 | Week 2 | Week 3 | Week 4 |
| Sue | HS fails | |||
| Maggie | Out | |||
| Jacky | Out | Out | ||
| Morgane | Out | |||
| Shows who was with a mistress or on a doorstep: Out = Mistress with current lover; I = Indiscreet (+ mistress name); ex-id = Pinched from former lover. | ||||
Who was where: round and about |
||||
| Where | Week 1 | Week 2 | Week 3 | Week 4 |
| Bawdy houses | HS + FC | |||
| Practising | JJ - Rapier | TC - Sabre | JJ - Rapier | TC - Sabre |
| BdLS - Cutlass | BdLS - Cutlass | TC - Sabre | BdLS - Cutlass | |
| LR - Rapier | BdLS - Cutlass | LR - Rapier | ||
| LR - Rapier | ||||
| Busy doing nothing | HS -SL (Ella) | |||
| Shows everybody else: FC = Female Companionship; Mug n = Mugged & amount lost; (G) = Gambled; Weapon = Weapon practised with. For those doing nothing: -club = not in a club; -Cash = insufficient funds; -SL = insufficient Social Level. | ||||