Les Petites Bêtes Soyeuses

Players' Press for October 1676

Sections: Announcements, Blatant Brown-nosing, Despatches from the Front, Matters of Honour, Military Missives, Ministerial Correspondence, Personal, Poetry Corner, Social

Announcements

** Aide Required **
I am looking for a competent aide.
Please contact me with your credentials.
† (Brevet) Bdr-General Count Thyme

Soldiers of the Third Army:
I am not especially happy with my (NPC) Aide. If you find yourself qualified (Major, within the 3rd Army structure) then I would be happy to have a word with my current Aide and see about having you replace him.
Yours,
† B. General Jacques Hatt, 3rd Army Commander

** Join the QOC **
Gentleman of Paris, if you are new to the city or are looking for a new Regiment, then you can do no better than join the Queen's Own Carabiniers.
Please contact me for more details, and some financial help is available.
† Count Thyme

The Guards Brigade will be going to the front in the last month of the season. Those wishing exemption, apply to Brigadier Cuckpowder.

To all candidates for Minister of State
Edna and I are very interested in the political future of our wonderful country and would be happy to hear your ideas.
We may have a word at court to support a candidate.
† Baron Louis Severin Descartes , Dragoon Brigadier

To: The Gentlemen of Paris
His Excellency, Commissioner of Public Safety, Major Sir Tiny Thierry Toothpick is seeking two dependable individuals who are interested in undertaking a role within Government, the Public Safety Ministry to be exact.
The roles are that of Ferret, reporting to the Commissioner and agreeing to serve any valid Arrest Warrant, as need arises.
A strong sense of patriotism, a keen eye and a willingness to do the Commissioner's bidding are essential requirements for the job, in return for which the successful applicants will receive -
    * Immunity from Arrest while TTT is CPS.
    * A generous salary of 30 crowns a month.
    * The opportunity to join the Commissioner for drinks and nibbles at his club, the Fleur de Lys, once a month.
    * A lovely orange uniform!
Please apply to Commissioner Toothpick, C/o The Public Safety Ministry, La Bastille, Paris

Despatches from the Front

Foxey Mr Fox (aka Rusé le Renard) is no longer bored. Still occasionally frightened, but excited too! "400 crowns! that's more money than I thought possible to be in one place!" And it's mine!, all mine! Mwah hah hah hah haaaaa!"

Such Hubris! And, strange to say, Nemesis often comes in the form of a cavalry sabre.
† Le Roi

Matters of Honour

Sigh. Wishing to join a superior regiment but need to improve my standing a bit... Also like to gain a bit more experience in the duelling field. Who would find a second useful?
† JS

Monsieur le CPS - I Challenge you to a duel. I shall fight with one hand behind my back.

Social

Gentlemen of Paris,
During week 2, Miss Nifisent and I will be dining at my club and be delighted to receive gentlemen and their ladies for polite discussion and whist; refreshments at my expense.
† Marquis Louis Renault

Party - November Week 2
Earl Rick Shaw invites all SL 15 and above (and their mistresses) to the Fleur de Lys to celebrate his recent elevation in the peerage.
Carousing costs will be paid and a prize of 100 crowns to the person with the most imaginative use of Ermine (remember there will be ladies present).

Week 2 a memorial for the memory of our gallant Minister of State, all invited.

All Gentlemen of the RFG and their ladies are welcome to attend at the Fleur on Week 4 of November, as my guest, to celebrate the life of our former Chef de Regiment, BRJS.

************** Guy Faulk's Party November WEEK 1 **************
To celebrate that wonderful ally of France, Guy Faulk, I will be hosting a party at my club during Week 1 of November. Please bring your ladies. Open to own and friendly regiments, social level 5 and above.

Personal

Count Cuckpowder,
The following missive has reached my estate today.
Since I have the habit to listen to both sides of the story, I would like to hear your comment.
† Baron Louis Severin Descartes, Dragoon Brigadier

FRANCE NEEDS YOU!!
To: The Worthies of Paris,
Gentlemen, France and Paris need you!
Our great Minister of State, Count Seine, a friend and benefactor to so many of us, lays slain... murdered in a duel by the infamous lothario bully, and threat to all our future loving relationships, TERENCE CUCKPOWDER.
This is a man who for many years now has skulked back in Paris while our brave and gallant troops have marched off to the Front, risking, and often losing, their lives in defence of King and Country. In their absence the rogue Cuckpowder has targeted numerous mistresses, tearing them away from their duty to serving soldiers and revelling in the fact that, to save their honour, such military gentlemen feel compelled to meet him upon the Duelling field. Unfortunately, Cuckpowder's sheer strength and the fact that he has had plenty of time to practice and hone his swordsmanship put many of those cuckold opponents at a disadvantage and many have died at the end of his blade.
This has gone on far too long. In the months before his tragic murder Count Seine had appointed me as Commissioner of Public Safety with the sole instruction of having Cuckpowder arrested and brought to trial, where justice would be served. Despite my having done as the good Count instructed, it appears that Cuckpowder caught wind of this and decided to strike before he could be attested before the MoS. We now find ourselves in the position where an unknown will sit in judgement, an unknown who may well be a confident of Cuckpowder himself!!
France needs rid of Cuckpowder, Paris needs rid of Cuckpowder, we all need rid of Cuckpowder before he steals any more of our ladies or murders more of us upon the cobblestones. He cannot, seemingly, be bested in a duel nor can we rely upon any foreign troops killing him on a distant battlefield since he consistently avoids the Front. Thus our only realistic option is in a Court Room and to do that we need your influence!
As Commissioner of Public Safety I beseech each of you to press the trial Judge for a GUILTY verdict, use whatever influence is at your disposal, Do so to avenge our dear late Minister of State and friend, Count Beau Reese Jean Seine, who helped so many of us over the years, both through appointments awarded and wonderful party invites to the Fleur. NOW IS OUR TIME, Cuckpowder cannot avoid the trial.
Sincere regards to you all,
† Sir Tiny Thierry Toothpick
Commissioner of Public Safety
Captain, His Majesty's Royal Foot Guards Regt

A not-so-private letter from Terence Cuckpowder, addressees unknown.
Gentlemen,
It appears our Commissioner of Public Safety has problems with honour.
Gentlemen cross swords honourably and no one enters the field of honour intent on killing.
Sadly, our esteemed Minister of State decided to continue to fight when wounded and walked into my second blow. None doubt his bravery and I will be holding a wake in his memory in week two next month. He died gloriously. Honour him
On our CPS's accusations of cowardice, I point merely to my military record. A year ago my post precluded military service in a regiment. Now I have a post leading France's premier brigade and will be off to war in the winter, once the men have relaxed and enjoyed their well-earned leave.
As to mistresses, those flowers we sip and adore, none are anything but transient. We dally, we love, but they are lilies of the field. No man in honour hates over a mistress shifting her affections. I have lost more mistresses than most. I bear no ill will. We cross blades in honour, we move on. Had I attempted a dalliance with a man's wife, I would deserve the condemnation of all.
I respect our CPS's right to his opinions, I am saddened by his attempt to mar the honour of our deceased Minister of State by suggesting that such a honourable man would have sought my arrest after a duel. As I said, I think our Commissioner has problems with honour.
I will happily face him, wounded as I am, with one hand behind my back.
Gentlemen, I beg your consideration.
† Terence Cuckpowder

Cher Count Cuckpowder,
I understand your reasoning and have to say I agree.
I have never trusted Toothpick anyway. Unfortunately, I am not of high enough Status to appear as a witness on your behalf.
I wish you all the best in the trial. If you come out innocent, TTT will lose his CPS post, which would be highly appreciated!
Hope you find enough influence on your side.
† Baron Louis Severin Descartes
Dragoon Brigadier

To SDS and AC
i! Leave my lovely lady alone! Just because I've been away at His Majesty's Pleasure for 3 months does NOT mean I don't expect to see her on my return... quite the opposite, in fact.
† Stephane Etrange

Poetry Corner

(All signed poetry submissions gain their author at least 1 SP)

With a crack they're off - a rushing tide,
The race begun, side by side.
Hooves a-thunder, down the tracks,
To the glory of our Grand Duke Max
† SDS

The Sabre That Settled the Score
Oh Terence, so fierce and so cruel,
Made poor Beau look a bit of a fool.
One slash, then a cut,
The Minister was shut-
Now Paris must find a new rule!
† Baron Louis Severin Descartes

Was it an accident, or malign fate?
France has lost its Minister of State
In a tragedy on the duelling field,
Not knowing when to yield.
Gentlemen, remember when to pause
and surrender even though you have cause.
Remember Beau Reese Jean Seine -
We will not see his like again.
† Frank X Change

My Brigade needs an Aide!
Send CV to me!
(a poem by Hugo Furst)

Ode to the Grand Duke Max's Trophy
1 It's time to saddle my favourite horse;
To gallop hard without a pause
And ride as best as I can because
I want to win this race.
2 Not for the lure of the gold doubloons,
Not just to beat some poor buffoons,
But the honour of Duke Max's Dragoons.
Oh, let me match the pace!
3 Now we just wait for the starting gun;
Now for the start of the racing fun;
We ride until the race is won;
Oh, where will be my place?
† MD

Ah Paris, what a city, so vibrant and pretty!
It does, however, cost a pretty penny,
Especially with a mistress who needs much upkeep,
Requiring you to have pockets that are rather deep.
There are parties, with events galore;
Sights that I have never seen before;
All in all, it's vibrant and pretty -
Paris, what a great city!
† PDT