Les Petites Bêtes Soyeuses

Being a correspondence game of En Garde! run by Pevans since April 1986 and now published as part of To Win Just Once.

If you'd like to play, you'll need to subscribe to TWJO (follow the link for details). You will need a copy of the rules to En Garde! - or at least access to a copy. The additional rules for LPBS are available as a PDF document. (You will need Adobe Reader to view this: it is available free from Adobe.)

Orders for August 1675 to LPBS, 180 Aylsham Drive, UXBRIDGE UB10 8UF or the LPBS orders e-mail address by 12th January 2024.

Game Report for July 1675

Sections: Duels, Trials, Appointments and Regiments, What happened in Paris, What happened at the front.

Seeing off the opposition

With the French hold on Roussillon settled, Second Army marches north once more to join the fight in the United Provinces. However, with the Imperial army threatening the Rhineland, the army diverts to counter the threat. The Imperials withdraw across the Rhine and Second Army crosses on pontoon bridges to confront them at Salzbach - once the heavy rain has abated.

Second Division holds the enemy in place while First Division seeks ways and means to attack. Lieutenant-General Rick Shaw, commanding Second Division, is brevetted to General and adds over a thousand crowns' worth of loot to his wealth. He is given command of Second Army for the last month of the campaign.

Second Foot Brigade is the most successful within the Division. The 13th and 53rd Fusiliers lay siege to an enemy bastion that falls quickly. Lieutenant-Colonel Ari Beaux of the 13th grabs almost a thousand crowns' worth of booty. Lt-Col Armand Alsace leading the 53rd gets a pat on the back for his sterling work.

Thomas de la Lune, Brigadier of Third Foot, plunders a few hundred crowns for himself, capitalising on the victorious 27th Musketeers. The 4th Arquebusiers back them up, bring their commander, Lt-Col Jean d'Aubergine, the best part of a thousand crowns' worth of loot.

What's on the cards?

Guards Brigadier Greg de Bécqueur continues as acting commander of First Division. He organises a Cribbage tournament for the officers in his command. This is a tie between Martin de Garnache and Tiny Thierry Toothpick and there's no time for a decider as the troops go into action. The Division's minor victory lets him loot over a thousand crowns' worth. He is also Mentioned in Despatches, twice ("Should he get the job officially?").

This means RFG Colonel Beau Reese Jean Seine acts up to Brigadier. He is brevetted back to Brigadier-General - his previous brevet expired this month. His share of the loot is closer to fifteen hundred crowns' worth. And there's a Mention in Despatches for him, too ("Let's make him Bdr-Gen again").

As acting commander of the Royal Foot Guards, Lt-Col Camille de Polignac has another good month. The Guards are victorious in their assault, providing lots of looting opportunities. For Polignac that means a round 1,500 crowns and a Mention ("Always thinking of the men"). For Major Martin de Garnache it's just a thousand crowns, while what Major Hector William Boone seizes is a couple of hundred crowns more than that. Captain Neville Moore goes big and amasses two thousand crowns' worth. Captain Felipe Savant is at the fifteen hundred mark. And brevet Captain Tiny Thierry Toothpick gets promoted again, securing his rank. Oh, his loot comes to just over the 1,500 crowns.

It's a bloody fight that the Cardinal's Guard get involved in. Lt-Col Zeold von Tu has to clean the blood off his loot before he can get it valued - that's nearly 2,500 crowns. There's a Mention in Despatches for him as well ("That's a good haul").

The King's Musketeers' battle sees them making little progress against a stiff defence. Colonel Claude de Nord still finds over fifteen hundred crowns' worth of loot. Brevetted to Bdr-Gen, he is also Mentioned briefly in Despatches. There's a longer Mention for brevet Lt-Colonel Frank X Change whose promotion makes him a full Lt-Col. His looting brings him over a thousand crowns.

Alongside the Guards, First Foot Brigade makes little headway. RM Lt-Col Vinne d'Pooh is Brigade Major and puts a positive spin on the Brigade's efforts. Unsurprisingly, he features in the Despatches ("Good bit of writing") and earns well over 2,500 crowns' worth of booty. Henri DuShite leads the Royal Marines and finds his name Mentioned twice. A useful bit of plunder brings him 1,300 crowns. Ramond Repose de la Tombe may only be a Lt-Col, but he's in charge of the Picardy Musketeers and gains a (brevet) promotion to Colonel together with a footnote in the Despatches. His looting gets him close to fifteen hundred crowns income.

Chaaaaaaarge! A Musketeer loses his hat, but hangs on to the reins as his enthusiastic horse charges

The Horse Guards Brigade handles scouting for the Army and there are two Mentions for Brigadier Terence Cuckpowder. These bring him elevation to Count, but only 500 crowns' worth of spoils. The Dragoon Guards mix it inconclusively with Imperial cavalry and Major Michael Chevalier-Cavalier's only reward is a brevet promotion to Lt-Col despite commanding the regiment. Queen's Own Carabiniers' commander, Justin Thyme, gets just over 500 crowns worth of loot, but two Mentions (Surely he could carry more?"). Captain Come Asiouar's looting brings him less than five hundred crowns to accompany his MiD.

Acting Second Army commander Louis Renault basks in the success of his men and his own Mention in Despatches ("Is he developing a tan?"). Diving into the pot of loot, he comes out with well over two thousand crowns' worth.

Still going Dutch

In the United Provinces, First Army is holding the ground taken by the French so far. Jacques Hatt is acting Army commander, which brings him a Mention in Despatches ("That's good acting"). A couple of hundred crowns come his way.

Down the chain of acting commanders, Crown Prince Cuirassiers commander Ben e'Volence takes charge of the Heavy Brigade. There's a Mention for him and just a hundred crowns worth of goodies, but he turns down formal command of the Brigade to remain Minister of war. His regiment has a difficult time, but there's a MiD for Major Stephane Etrange ("His armour's not as shiny this month"), along with over a hundred crowns from his booty. Captain Beau Nidle just gets a Mention ("Not living up to his name").

Dragoon Brigadier Balzac Slapdash is not acting and makes a point of getting his snout in the looting trough. However, he acquires less than 500 crowns' worth. It's a tough month for the Grand Duke Max Dragoons. CO Louis Severin Descartes' personal bravery lets him plunder over two hundred crowns for himself. Lt-Col Alvin Charles doesn't manage to do that. The competition between the three Captains is won by Botte Le Chimiste, who pockets 200 crowns. Elroi le Flingue and Pierre Pressure get nothing.

A hatless Musketeer hurls dagger after dagger Brigadier-General Xavier Money is still with Frontier regiment 1 and enhances the regiment's fighting abilities to see off a Dutch attack. Unfortunately, Money is amongst the casualties. RIP.

Meanwhile, back in Paris 2

Back in Paris, July looks very much like June. Gaz Moutarde spends his time with his mistress. Jacques de Gain and Zavier Ulric Turenne spend theirs with their rapiers. Bernard de Lur-Saluces visits the Bawdyhouse for some female company and then returns to his dagger practice for the rest of the month. Jean Jeanie starts with two weeks rapier practice before taking Jacky Tinne to the Fleur for a fortnight. Pierre Cardigan and Justine Caisse are there all month.